GIRL CHILD IN INDIA – PART III
This is part – III, I am writing about on this subject, which is repeatedly pulling me into it. I hope these blogs will help us to have some sort of remedy developed to unsettle the issue.
Though I have sent invitation to all my ilanders friends, about part – II, I have received comments from only, close quarters, and I do not know whether my received their invitation to read it.
I request all my ilanders friends to have their opinion published, as this is a social cause and for the benefit half of the population to improve their life style. Even a spark is enough to create a massive fire in the bellies to get a remedy to this perennial issue.
Part – III also being tagged to, and this time I am tagging my beloved Sister, Meena Sundaram, Chennai……As I have understood from her mails and blogs, that she has a lot of concern on this issue and can contribute in a better way.
She also has the ambitions of taking up this issue to villages with a collective force to have an impact, and I hope that some thing will work out for this to happen.
In part – II I was concerned about the non – education and proclaiming self-freedom and responsibilities, and was tagged on to my wonderful friend, Jissy Thomas of Baroda.
She, being tagged, came out with a ferocious blog about the ill effects of non – proclamation of autonomy and some simple root causes, depriving the girl child / woman of not having it.
In this blog, Part – III, I would like to discuss about:
We have to accept the fact that protection of rights of women, legally, has its own demerits in the face of prevailing patriarchal traditions.
The situation of women is affected by the degree of their autonomy or capacity to make decisions both inside and outside their own household, mainly due to non – exposure to the outside world or society, which makes them shy away from availing the autonomy, exists with them.
This situation is notably poor, in North India. Traditional Hindu society in northern rural areas is hierarchical and dominated by men, as evidenced by marriage customs. The bride and groom must not be related, and they have no say in the matter.
After marriage, the bride moves in with her husband’s family, where she is a stranger and controlled by the older females in the household, and their behavior reflects on the honor of their husbands. A young Indian bride is brought up to believe that her own wishes and interests are subordinate to those of her husband and his family and her only means of improving her position in the hierarchy of her husband’s household, is to bear sons."
In the south, in contrast, a daughter traditionally marries her mother’s brother or her mother’s brother’s son (her first cousin). Such an arrangement has a dramatic impact on women and helps to improve close relationships with their natal kin."
Here I would like to narrate a live example, presently happening to one of my friends, happening elsewhere in India.
This friend of mine is a close one, and we share our thoughts and feelings more elaborately, is a Diploma in Computer Science and working in a good company as office Assistant, drawing a salary to run a family.
She has got certain definitions and expectations for her would be husband, through arranged marriage. Her parents brought in a groom, from a village town, who is a Ca, and moving around within that village town. Somehow, he did not meet my friend’s expectations and she started disliking him upfront.
Her parents were insisting her to marry him, telling her the wealth, status etc. But she was explaining to them about her expectations (not a very big one), and told them, the groom has scored only 35 percentage of it. All she wanted, her parents to look for some one else, so that she will lead a HAPPY Life, irrespective of wealth and status.
But her parents were adamant enough and forcing her to marry that groom whom she did not like, especially the mother, who is repeatedly telling her about the wealth and status.
Alas, being a GIRL CHILD, my friend has simply accepted it and crying everyday, but pretending in front of her folks, telling them every thing is fine…..but bleeding from the heart.
(Note: this family is fairly educated and living in a city town of its own……If this the case here, what will it be in villages)……I Wonder
Child marriages keep women subjugated greatly in spite of legal protection, in many rural communities, illegal child marriages are still common leading to a phenomenal 10-15 percent of all births take place to women in their teens. A kid bearing another kid”
A May 1998 article in the New York Times states:
Child marriages contribute to virtually every social malaise that keeps India behind in women’s rights. The problems include soaring birth rates, grinding poverty and malnutrition, high illiteracy and infant mortality and low life expectancy, especially among rural women. The article cites a 1993 survey of more than 5,000 women in Rajasthan, which showed that 56 percent of them had married before they were 15.
Another major cause to worry for women being kept as a subordinate is the dowry system, prevailing in almost whole of India.
Despite every stigma, dowry continues to be the signature of marriage. Says Rainuka Dagar, "It is taken as a normative custom and dowry harassment as a part of family life."
Divorce is not a viable option, as it is considered as taboo in a patriarchal society. It is rare — it is a considered a shameful admission of a woman’s failure as a wife and daughter-in-law. In 1990, divorced women made up a miniscule 0.08 percent of the total female population.
Maintenance rights of women in the case of divorce are weak. Although both Hindu and Muslim law recognize the rights of women and children to maintenance, in practice, maintenance is rarely set at a sufficient amount and is frequently violated.
Empowerment:
Women have been considered as a matter of joy and a source of amusement and she was used and misused by men to serve their evil ends. She has been a treated as a machine of “procreation”.
By birth she is a slave to her father and mother when she is young, and offered as a slave to husband. At middle age, she becomes a mother, and in most cases, she is treated as a servant.
Even though efforts have been made in the past to bring dignity to women, we could not break the shackles binding her by the patriarchal society. Where as in Europe, by way of religion, there is an institutional era of equality, liberty and fraternity by preaching that a prince and pauper are equal in the eyes of God, irrespective of the gender.
Dr. B.R. Ambedkar has tried to brake down the barriers in the way of advancement of women in India. He laid down the foundation of concrete and sincere efforts by codifying the common Civil Code for the Hindus and the principle is capable of extension to other sections of the Indian society, but this Civil Code for Hindus, has to take place in real terms, in the minds of our society.
He had explained lucidly the reasons for consolidation and codification. Article 25 of the Indian Constitution permits all the freedom. The reforms introduced by Dr. Ambedkar through "Hindu Code-bill" have been adhered to and have been accepted by and large. He, by codifying Hindu Law in respect of marriage, divorce and succession, rationalized and restored the dignity to women.
He was trying to engineer the code through legal system, basically, the Right to wealth to women, Order of succession to the family wealth, Maintenance, marriage, divorce, adoption, minority and guardianship. This was a first step taken in the direction of recognizing and empowering Women.
Irrespective of legislation and code of conduct, first we must try to treat our female child at par with our male ones and thenceforth restore equality amongst them. (This has to come and to be effected on to the individual families, especially by Mothers). We have to feel, that they are your mothers, sisters, wife (Life partners). If we are able to mend our ways, we strive to succeed in Empowering Women.
Conclusion (Part – III):
I would like to conclude GIRL CHILD – PART III, with the wisdom from UN Secretary General Kofi Annan, "Gender equality is more than a goal in itself. It is a precondition for meeting the challenge of reducing poverty, promoting sustainable development and building good governance."
This recognition is currently missing in India. Transforming the prevailing social discrimination against women must become the top priority, and must happen concurrently with increased direct action to improve the social and economic status of women, rapidly.
As women receive greater education and training, they will earn more money, and as they earn more, they spend it on further education and wealth and health development of her family, as opposed to men
The more the education among women, the more awareness of outside world, which breeds “Self – Confidence”. In addition, this self-confidence in women, leads to recognition and there by empowerment.
Once empowerment is in place, all other shackles binding her by the patriarchal society shall be SHATTERED.
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